Reinvent Yourself NOW!

How Can Your Career Path Have Heart, when your heart is always stepped on?

How do you get your life back when everyone else but you-controls it?

These questions in a recent comment were so poignant that I felt compelled to post a blog. First I salute your courage to tell it like it is for you. You are not alone in this experience. I hear this often from clients whether in person or on the phone.

The only way out is to ask your heart what it needs to heal, to become whole and "get your life back."

When I say things like that to my clients, as I usually do, they give me that "you've got to be kidding look" or flat out tell me I'm weird. No matter, it is an exercise that gives priceless answers from the part of you that always knows exactly what you need to do, say or think in any situation.

You say, that sounds good but how do I ask and hear my heart. Einstein's answer cuts to the chase, he said "to be a genius, you have to be out of your mind." To ask and hear your heart's answer, you must be out of your mind. This means turn your head off and stop analysis paralysis. Here's the strategy:

1. Do gentle belly breathing to chill out. Relax. this is about being not doing.
2. See a movie screen with a picture of your stepped on, broken heart.
3. Ask the question, 'What do I have to do to begin to heal you and get my life back"? Look at the screen and see what appears.Know you will get an answer--image, voice (no you are not schizophrenic), feeling or thought.
4. Listen. Listen. Listen. This is the crucial step that requires you to be out of your mind.
5. What have you learned?  Write it down. Does it ring true in every fiber of your being.
6. What are you going to do in your daily life to follow up on what you learned.

For your action plan, think in baby steps. I continually remind my clients that people change in sixteenths of an inch. Celebrate the slightest change with great enthusiasm.

This was the intuitive approach. In the next blog, I will give you logical questions to help you move ahead to create a life in spite of the pain. Stay tuned.

Criteria for Reinventing Yourself

How do I know I need to reinvent myself? Find yourself in the pictures after clicking on any one to enlarge all of them. Then, read on to find yourself again:

• on the job, you are ready to scream -- and think to yourself, "I can't stand it anymore."      
• a commuter recently described it perfectly -- "Every Monday you hate to get up and go back to work and vow to make a career or job change. By Friday, you're too tired and frustrated to start looking."
• the children have gone off to school - yes, even kindergarten. It parallels downsizing and you've been out of the career loop for some tome."Now what?," you ask.
• more than anything, you want meaningful and satisfying work.   You've tried but are confused and frustrated about how to find it.

                              With all of the above . .

your body protests loudly with frequent stress headaches, backaches or neck and  shoulder pain; hypertension, skin problems or stomach discomfort.

If you answered yes to any or all of these criteria - it's time to start reinventing yourself NOW. Is it worth the physical, mental and emotional price you're paying?

Does Your Career Path Have Heart? . . .or Heartburn?

If the answer is yes, stay on the path. If the answer is no, get off the path as soon as possible. The tragedy is that by the time most people ask this question, the path is already killing them.      

Carlos Castenada. The Teachings of Don Juan

Don't wait until you're downsized and in the middle of trauma - the worst possible time to think clearly - to ask this crucial question.

Ask it now while you can take the time to pack your chute on your terms.

Tips to Survive Downsizing

DO NOT...

1.    DO NOT blame yourself. It's not your Fault.

2.    DO NOT epeat the "If only I had" along with the "could of, should of" refrain unless you want to make yourself miserable.                           

3    DO NOT stuff feeling rotten.

4.  DO NOT igmore what you learned on and loved about this job.

DO...                                                                       Accept Help Graciously

1.   DO acknowledge there is nothing wrong with you or reason for shame.

2.   DO talk to yourself like a loving parent. Say what you would love to hear. You did the best you could even if you did not see or act on the coming downsizing.

3.   DO feel the roller coaster of emotions -- mad, sad, scared and glad -- that can surface all in the same hour. This is a normal reaction to the trauma of loss. So is feeling none of the above.

4.   D0 take the time to grieve a real loss -- of a job, a dream and a lifestyle.

5.   DO talk repeatedly to someone you trust about the trauma.

6.  DO make a list of things to avoid AND keep from the job you lost. Focus on the tasks, skills and environments that bring out or undo your personal best.

7.   Above all, DO be gentle with yourself and find small, creative and inexpensive ways to nurture yourself. Yes, yes, DO HAVE FUN!