Reinvent Yourself NOW!

Create a Career Path with Heart in Spite of Your "Stuff"

The challenge is how to break free of letting everyone else control your life and to create a career with heart. In the last blog I gave the intuitive answer to this dilemma.            

This is the logical answer with practical questions to begin to break free of being a puppet on a string for other people's agenda. Brainstorm and answer with the first thought that pops into your head:                                                                                                                                

• Who and what drains you? . . is toxic to you being all you can be?               
• What fuels you? When is the last time you did these things? 
• How would you have to think, feel, see and/or act differently to begin       to put "heart" into your career path. Think small. People change in sixteenths of an inch.

To do more of what fuels you means doing less of what drains you. The secret is learning to say no to toxic events and people with respect and dignity for yourself and others. To pump up your resolve and self-confidence check out the Assertive Bill of Rights at http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Anxiety/ellen/bill_of_assertive_rights.asp 

Pick your favorite right and repeat it like a mantra as often as necessary. Know that may be 50 times a day. Don't expect yourself to believe it. Just say it and move ahead in spite of your stuff.

How Can Your Career Path Have Heart, when your heart is always stepped on?

How do you get your life back when everyone else but you-controls it?

These questions in a recent comment were so poignant that I felt compelled to post a blog. First I salute your courage to tell it like it is for you. You are not alone in this experience. I hear this often from clients whether in person or on the phone.

The only way out is to ask your heart what it needs to heal, to become whole and "get your life back."

When I say things like that to my clients, as I usually do, they give me that "you've got to be kidding look" or flat out tell me I'm weird. No matter, it is an exercise that gives priceless answers from the part of you that always knows exactly what you need to do, say or think in any situation.

You say, that sounds good but how do I ask and hear my heart. Einstein's answer cuts to the chase, he said "to be a genius, you have to be out of your mind." To ask and hear your heart's answer, you must be out of your mind. This means turn your head off and stop analysis paralysis. Here's the strategy:

1. Do gentle belly breathing to chill out. Relax. this is about being not doing.
2. See a movie screen with a picture of your stepped on, broken heart.
3. Ask the question, 'What do I have to do to begin to heal you and get my life back"? Look at the screen and see what appears.Know you will get an answer--image, voice (no you are not schizophrenic), feeling or thought.
4. Listen. Listen. Listen. This is the crucial step that requires you to be out of your mind.
5. What have you learned?  Write it down. Does it ring true in every fiber of your being.
6. What are you going to do in your daily life to follow up on what you learned.

For your action plan, think in baby steps. I continually remind my clients that people change in sixteenths of an inch. Celebrate the slightest change with great enthusiasm.

This was the intuitive approach. In the next blog, I will give you logical questions to help you move ahead to create a life in spite of the pain. Stay tuned.

A Career Path with "Heart" - What's That?

In my June 25th blog, (see below), I asked Does Your Career Path Have Heart? . . . . or Heartburn?

It occured to me, in hindsight, that you cannot answer that question unless I define what I mean by "heart." In other words, does your career path excite you? . . . lift your spirits? . . . feed  your soul? . . . make you happy? . . feel more like play than work?  Is your work meaningful? . . . satisfying?                                                                              

IT TAKES GUTS TO HONESTLY ADMIT TO YOURSELF THAT THE ANSWER IS NO. Let's get clear: there is no shame or guilt or beating yourself up necessary--unless you want to make yourself miserable.

The better alternative to stewing and chewing is to begin to reinvent yourself NOW! Ask yourself the following questions:  (Answer off the top of your head with the first words that comes to mind. Brainstorm without judgment or analysis. No deep archaeological digging}

• If my path had heart, what would it look like? . . . feel like? How would I think differently? . . . act differently?
• If you had all the money, training, and emotional support to be all you can be, what would you have accomplished by now?
• What did you dream about being or doing as a child?  ( I can hear you saying, "It's too late; how cam I make money at that now?  Stop it. Get out of your head for the moment.}

George Eliot of Silas Marner fame says it best:                            "It's never too late to be who you might have been."

Welcome to my Career Satisfaction Blog

Yes, a warm welcome to my blog. I was so excited about becoming a blogger that I neglected to share with you my vision for the Reinvent Yourself NOW blog.

I invite you to partner with me, your virtual mentor, to begin the process to create your career/life path with "heart." This is my wish and passion. I will share-from my heart to yours-the tips, tricks, and laser questions based on my 30 years experience as a career/life transition expert.

Start by answering the question in the previous blog "Does Your Path have Heart? . . . or Heartburn?" Is the answer yes, no, or a little of both? Then, off the top of your head, brainstorming : list the parts of your job that have heart and what gives you heartburn. And if you are between careers (notice I did not say unemployed), answer the question based on your last job.

if you are looking for more meaning and satisfaction in your work, I welcome your feedback Just click on the Comments right after this post.

Let's have fun in the process.

Does Your Career Path Have Heart? . . .or Heartburn?

If the answer is yes, stay on the path. If the answer is no, get off the path as soon as possible. The tragedy is that by the time most people ask this question, the path is already killing them.      

Carlos Castenada. The Teachings of Don Juan

Don't wait until you're downsized and in the middle of trauma - the worst possible time to think clearly - to ask this crucial question.

Ask it now while you can take the time to pack your chute on your terms.

Tips to Survive Downsizing

DO NOT...

1.    DO NOT blame yourself. It's not your Fault.

2.    DO NOT epeat the "If only I had" along with the "could of, should of" refrain unless you want to make yourself miserable.                           

3    DO NOT stuff feeling rotten.

4.  DO NOT igmore what you learned on and loved about this job.

DO...                                                                       Accept Help Graciously

1.   DO acknowledge there is nothing wrong with you or reason for shame.

2.   DO talk to yourself like a loving parent. Say what you would love to hear. You did the best you could even if you did not see or act on the coming downsizing.

3.   DO feel the roller coaster of emotions -- mad, sad, scared and glad -- that can surface all in the same hour. This is a normal reaction to the trauma of loss. So is feeling none of the above.

4.   D0 take the time to grieve a real loss -- of a job, a dream and a lifestyle.

5.   DO talk repeatedly to someone you trust about the trauma.

6.  DO make a list of things to avoid AND keep from the job you lost. Focus on the tasks, skills and environments that bring out or undo your personal best.

7.   Above all, DO be gentle with yourself and find small, creative and inexpensive ways to nurture yourself. Yes, yes, DO HAVE FUN!