How do you get your life back when everyone else but you-controls it?
These questions in a recent comment were so poignant that I felt compelled to post a blog. First I salute your courage to tell it like it is for you. You are not alone in this experience. I hear this often from clients whether in person or on the phone.
The only way out is to ask your heart what it needs to heal, to become whole and "get your life back."
When I say things like that to my clients, as I usually do, they give me that "you've got to be kidding look" or flat out tell me I'm weird. No matter, it is an exercise that gives priceless answers from the part of you that always knows exactly what you need to do, say or think in any situation.
You say, that sounds good but how do I ask and hear my heart. Einstein's answer cuts to the chase, he said "to be a genius, you have to be out of your mind." To ask and hear your heart's answer, you must be out of your mind. This means turn your head off and stop analysis paralysis. Here's the strategy:
- Do gentle belly breathing to chill out. Relax. this is about being not doing.
- See a movie screen with a picture of your stepped on, broken heart.
- Ask the question, 'What do I have to do to begin to heal you and get my life back"? Look at the screen and see what appears.Know you will get an answer--image, voice (no you are not schizophrenic), feeling or thought.
- Listen. Listen. Listen. This is the crucial step that requires you to be out of your mind.
- What have you learned? Write it down. Does it ring true in every fiber of your being.
- What are you going to do in your daily life to follow up on what you learned.
For your action plan, think in baby steps. I continually remind my clients that people change in sixteenths of an inch. Celebrate the slightest change with great enthusiasm.
This was the intuitive approach. In the next blog, I will give you logical questions to help you move ahead to create a life in spite of the pain. Stay tuned.
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